:)

Ah... the happy face. I get it. It's cute. It's happy. It's all, have a nice day, but these keyboard faces are running amok and getting on my last nerve.

;) - a wink? honestly, I don't trust people that wink at me in real life, much less someone who winks with a semicolon.

^-^ - what is this? a cat peeping over a wall?

:X - are you dead? thinking of becoming a pirate?

:'( - crying? seriously? are we now so inept at expressing ourselves that a crying keyboard face is necessary for me to comprehend your sadness?

:D - are you aghast? really happy? what are you trying to tell me?

Just stop it! They aren't clever. They have the power to make any perfectly normal thought look silly... unless you are eight. ):>

Culinary Genius #1: "So... let's rehash. We've decided we are going to sell Mexican food & Sea food, correct?"

Culinary Genius #2: "Correct. We thought Mexican Seafood was too weird. And now that we have the menu all ironed out, all we need to do is come up with a name for the place."

Culinary Genius #1: "Right. Wait... wait.... I think I've got it! Yes! Garden Juice! We can call the place Garden Juice! Because really... what says Mexican food and Sea food better than Garden Juice?"

Culinary Genius #2: "Man... you nailed it."

Why cure in 1 day... what could take 7

While perusing the feminine hygiene products today at Rite Aid. I noticed that there are now a slew of products available to treat a yeast infection. I remember, back in the day, when there was only one option- Monistat 7. But today, we women have choices. A lot of choices.
What surprises me, is that Monistat 7 is still one of them. Now that we have Monistat 1, the one day cure all... why is the 7 day plan still available? How do you market that? To whom do you market that?

Tell me it's not true

These boots were designed by Michael Kors.
These boots sold out today at Gilt Group.


Both of the above sentences are true.
I swear.

Did you know that you can buy a casket at Costco?

Well... yes, you can. You can grab the Lady of Guadalupe model while you get your oil changed and pick up some poultry. You can also buy tires while you get your eyes checked.. or pick up a toilet and some pretzels.

You can also buy a diamond ring. And not just some little shit ring. They have rings upward of $120,000, and I need to be introduced to the guy that is going to buy his fiance a $120,000 diamond ring from Costco. I need to get inside the head of the guy that will shimmy past the deli counter to talk cut and clarity on the $120,000 ring he is going to buy at COSTCO!