Miss Universe

Ok, so... Miss Universe wrote a book about recovering from a breakup. A break up from Marc Anthony none the less. It goes something like this.... I got up off my couch after the horrible break up, turned the knob to my front door and walked outside. Then, selected a new beau from the 7.4 million other guys waiting outside to date me because I'm MISS UNIVERSE. The End.


I feel for the average young woman in the bookstore that has just been shit on for the 17th time, that picks up that book, scans the cover, and then says to herself... "Yea, I can really relate to this. This is the book for me. My life and that of MISS UNIVERSE are so intertwined, so in synch." To this woman I say you need way more than a break up book. You need serious analysis. She is friggin MISS UNIVERSE, and she needs to shut up and stop talking to us.

When did we as a people become so stupid, that going to a public bathroom needed to become an automated process? The toilets flush for you automatically when you stand up, in case you are too stupid to remember to flush the toilet. You have to flap your hands like a dying bird under the sink to turn on the water for just the right amount of time, in case you are too stupid to turn off the water when you are finished. And in case you are too stupid to figure out how to get a paper towel out of the holder... don't worry there is a sensor on it that will dispense just the right amount of paper. As Obama is calling all of us to action, I am really trying to have faith in us as a people. But if we can't even be trusted to properly handle bathroom faucetry...

fabulous

I am now totally cool with getter older.