Our Town

Today at the car wash, it was impossible not to overhear the following cellphone conversation...

Annoying Young Hollywood Douche: "Dude, let me tell you man, I shot that first movie for only like $77,000, and you know how much France... yeah France, is going to pay for the rights?"

My Imagined Other End of the Call: "I don't know... $12.50?"

AYHD: "No way man. We pulled down like $55 million for that film from France alone."

MIOEOC: Silence with dramatic eye roll.

AYHD: "So like, I'm thinking on this new film man, we are gonna be like rolling in it. Ya know?"

MIOEOC: "Yeah, O.K., sure.. let me go get the mortgage to my house to put down on this."

AYHD: "With a veteran like me at the helm, we can make this thing fly man. We've just gotta do a little rewrite. The script needs to be like more spooky, and less "Firestartery"

This is when I got up and quietly walked away. But deep inside I was wishing that I was the person that could turn back and say..."Dude, your sunglasses are too big, your hair is too black, your belt is too studded and your shoes are too pointy. And why is there a version of you everywhere I go? Please leave my town. No one is going to buy your movie- not even in France. Good Afternoon."